Fall

Will you wait for me even if you know that I'll be gone for long?

Will you?

Sleep

is there any way that i can normally sleep like other people?

is this how it feels when you're high?

people are swirling around me.

they were talking to me and i couldn't focus anymore.

everything blends in to be one single thing.

sun hurts my eyes.

and i'm starting to talk nonsense in class.

*sigh*

Biskut dan Periuk(Dedicated to Miss Wan Zarin Alina)

time goes by fast enough to stretch our distance further away each day.
and lately i've been missing u.
thanks for the 101st entry dedication. (terharu betul) :)

remember this?:





p/s: kenapa ntah periuk?

Lock, Stock and Assholes

Why is it that people are always whining about something terrible happened to them, when in fact, that something terrible is the effect of their own stupidities? Consider this:

Certain people pegi restoran or pasar malam or KFC or wherever yang boleh beli makanan and order food yang boleh buat stok untuk 2 hari. And then, sambil makan, diorang akan komplen, dan selalunya komplen2 diorang berbunyi seperti ini: "Ah,gemuk la macam ni" or "Risau la berat dah naik" or "Baru timbang tadi. Berat naik sekilo. Aduh, kalau macam ni macam mana nak kurus?". Diingatkan sekali lagi, komplen2 ini berbunyi ketika diorang sedang mengunyah2 makanan tersebut. WHAT THE FUCK? Tak boleh ke just makan, shut the fuck up and be thankful at least korang ade nikmat untuk makan? Or do not eat at all. Nobody forced you to eat all of those. You did it to yourself. So, why whine?

Next time, should i take the food and shove it up their asses? i feel damn annoyed already.



p/s: ah, i've been sober from vulgarities for too long. being decent is deadly tiring.

"controlling my feelings for too long
forcing our darkest souls to unfold
and pushing us into self-destruction"
-Showbiz, Muse-

Morning Bliss

sipping perfume
from a paper cup
with half-cooked personality
on a broken plate
sunny side up
as always.

reading papers
that were written in blood
of the holocaust
and of stupidities.

getting ready
with a fake smile
lying face down
and drift away
to the end of the world.

Deathbed

"When I go to bed at night,
I don't want to sleep with hate and dissatisfaction.

For if I don't have a chance to see tomorrow,
I don't want to die with a frown upon my face."

Emotionally Sexy

I listened to 'Uprising' and 'I Belong To You',
and did not feel the 'effect' anymore.
Still, both are beautiful songs.
Well, I lost the 'effect' since Black Holes.
But I'm holding on.

I truly miss the emotionally sexy screams just like in
'Showbiz', 'Hyper Music', 'Bliss', 'Nature 1', 'Uno', etc.

Why?
*sigh*

Thank You

It's not easy to rise up from a difficult situation.
I've been losing my motivation all these while.
It was hard to be in a place that you feel you do not belong to.
Far away from familiar faces and everything that you used to.
But things are slowly getting better now.

Thanks to you.

Thanks for being back here just to make sure that I'm fine.
Thanks for being patient until my workloads are all gone.
Thanks for understanding my fear.
Thanks for the hours spent on my sleepless nights.

I couldn't get through this alone without you.

Thank you.

xoxo.

Sorry Sorry

Baru lepas langgar kucing.

I was at 120kmph when it suddenly jumped in front of me.

I'm scared to death and feel extremely guilty.

Hope I won't have a nightmare about it.

Cinta Hati

One of my sanity-keepers when things go insane.

Louche

you are my homicide.
my first crime committed.
dealing with hallucinations,
and hollow addictions.

this is my sin,
and you are my victim.
a ticket to hell,
in exchange of sleeping well.

it's in my dream.
you, and me, and everything.
and in one sober morning,
my mind is thinking:
could i be well again,
when the night is swept away by the rain?

5th Oct 09, 10:27 a.m.

A Missing Heart

There is someone that I really miss.
And it makes me sick with the overwhelming emotions;
knowing that I could never see him again.

R.I.P
God Bless You.

Undressed

I'll let the wind to love me.
Whispering enthralling curses,
from the inside.

I'll let the sky to take me.
Flying high beneath its wing,
to eternity.

And you'll let me go.
Keeping my head up high,
with pride.

Helter Skelter

I have a frozen sun
in my fridge.

And a sleeping moon
on my bed.

I have a colourful skin
on my back.

And rotten marshmallow
in my mind.


~anemic daisy~

Beautiful

What should you do when you are at the lowest point in your life?
Get high on it!

Where Should I Go?

the question is:

WHERE???

I Am The Universe

Lethargic. Torn Envelopes. Extreme Fatigue. White Rainbows. Wealthy Fishermen. Huge Huts. Crossed. Weeping. Black Squids. Don't Give A F**K. Crashed. Aftershave. Manic Disorder. Rude Mouse.
DEMOTIVATED.

Rewind

life was different a year and half ago. we were all different. then things changed. and things happened. some already became proud mothers and fathers of cute little children. some got engaged. some got their dream jobs. some are planning to build everlasting happiness with real ones.

these are all unbelievable. these are all what we won't expect to happen. we are all grown-ups now. and we are growing apart.

i wish all of you well. we'll meet again someday. we will.

Esoteric

i am a walking contradiction.
with my golden eyes and strawberry lips.

i am a sneezing medication.
with my dangerous disease all over the floor.

i am a failing retaliation,
with my weakest bones being broken.

i am a romantic composition,
with spelling errors and toxic phrases.

i am an antique education.
licking dusts, breathing disaster.

i am not you.

New Age Crisis

i've been waiting for it. waiting for the day that i am finally free from this dilemma. i don't want to be here. even when i tried to. it's not that i'm being ungrateful, though. i realized that there are millions out there who will kill each other to be in my place. it's not that i don't love what i'm doing right now. but somehow, it just doesn't feel right. i couldn't deceive myself. i want to do what i'm doing right now. but not here. i'm decaying. i want out.